11 years

11 years ago today, my Mom died.
I remember this day like it was yesterday. I still miss her.
I always wonder what she would think of the boys that were 8 and 5 when she died, and then I realize that she would love them. She loved them no matter what they did when they were that age, and I am sure she would love them now.

Mom taught Josh how to play tic-tac-toe, and he would go across the street and through the back yards to her house to play in the afternoons after kindergarten. He would come home with little sheets of paper that had the "scores". Sometimes he won, sometimes Mom won, sometimes it was a "cat" or tie game. Josh loved this time with her so much that when she died, he was at the funeral and made her a tic-tac-toe game. He created a game between them, and let her "win". He left that sheet in her casket. They had a special love, and I am so glad she helped shape him into the man he has become.

Losing my mom was the hardest life challenge I have had at this point. I really relied on her to be my friend, and sounding board, and to reassure me that I was doing alright. And she always did. These past 11 years, I have had to learn to trust my instinct and do what my heart tells me. Often, when things are a bit rough and I am not sure what to do next, I find myself stopping and thinking about what she might do or say. It is comforting to me. I was so blessed to have a relationship with her that was open, and honest as I grew into adult hood. She was a great Mom, and an even better friend.